How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm both gender and math confused
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
