I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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