finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
