God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
