Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
