I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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