OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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