today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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