How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
