He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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