My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
