I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did I show you my penis last night?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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