I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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