not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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