for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
