just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
