I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
