I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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