just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize