New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
