and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
