He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize