Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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