So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
