you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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