laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
