I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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