That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
