Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
