my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
