I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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