That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Success! We fucked roommates!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
