well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
