During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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