Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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