Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
