she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize