But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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