Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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