words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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