it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
