I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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