I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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