I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
