Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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