this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize