ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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