Best friends brother. Beat that.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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