I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
