My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
