I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
