Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
