Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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