I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
