You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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