i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
