Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
