Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
