it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize