i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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