Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
