I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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