Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
